For-Giveness Sake

For-Giveness Sake

Every heart is a harbor. Every person is the harbor master. What you let in is what you hold onto. 

If ever given the opportunity, I love to go to a harbor and see all the different kinds of boats. There’s always so many. Different kinds. Different shapes. Different sizes. Different conditions. Different purposes. But they are all tethered in the same harbor. Such is a person’s heart. 

Usually, the harbor is built in such a way to protect the boats from the wind and waves of the open ocean. To provide a calm place to load and unload. To give a serene background to passersby so they can enjoy the view and possibly give a place of peace and reflection. 

In a previous blog, I talked about how each of us is a boat and boats weren’t meant for the safety of the harbor but for the open ocean. With this blog, however, I’d like to make the analogy that our hearts are the harbor and the ships we let in shape us. 

There’s a reason boats are called vessels. Vessels carry many things. Our hearts are no different. Our hearts also carry many things. Vessels can be soft and pliable; moldable. They can be hard and tough as well. So, too, it is with the heart. 

In Proverbs 4:23 (KJV), Solomon advises us to “Keep thy heart with all diligence; For out of it are the issues of life.” A more literal translation that one could give for that verse is “be on guard over your whole heart - inner man - will, as one who guards over a prison. From it is the source or borders of life.”

In our culture, the seat of our emotions is the heart. We do things with our whole heart. We love with our whole heart. We put our whole heart into things. And emotions have their place. They are wonderful servants but terrible masters. So we should diligently be on guard that we control them so that they don’t control us. 

We should also take inventory of the vessels we have let into our heart’s harbor. They may be carrying more than we bargained for. One of the most common, and maybe most potent is the vessel of unforgiveness. 

Harboring unforgiveness is truly detrimental to the heart. It allows seeds of bitterness and anger to be planted. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, they grow and bear fruit. Unforgiveness is a bitter fruit. 

But there is some good news. You are still the harbor master of your heart. You decide which vessels stay and which vessels go. Choose to let unforgiveness set sail. 

You see, often times our hearts will lie to us. Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that “the heart is deceitful above all things.” Meaning, if you let it, your heart will deceive you. Your heart will tell you that withholding forgiveness is retribution. That withholding forgiveness will hurt the other person. That withholding forgiveness is not only fair, but justified. That you owe it to yourself to withhold forgiveness because you were wronged. That they don’t deserve it. 

The truth is, unforgiveness keeps you prisoner to that person or to the situation. Unforgiveness keeps you in prison, all the while the door is wide open. Unforgiveness keeps you from moving on from that situation. Unforgiveness keeps you from growth. 

The truth is, forgiveness is freedom. You don’t need permission to forgive. You don’t need to be asked to forgive. You don’t need to think it through to forgive. You just need to be willing to trust that forgiveness is beneficial. And that it’s not dependent upon anyone except for you. Forgiveness isn’t reactive - it’s proactive. 

Forgiveness is freedom for the offended from the offender. 

Forgiveness frees the harbor of our hearts from negative and unhealthy vessels like bitterness, envy, jealousy, and anger. Forgiveness is fair. If you want some you gotta give some. Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15, “To the measure that you forgive others you too will be forgiven.” Simply said, if you don’t forgive others, God can’t forgive you. It’s not that He doesn’t want to. It’s not that He’s trying to be mean. But how does it make sense that He forgives you but you don’t forgive others? How is that fair? How is that just or right?

So do you want to know who you really are? Check your heart. Check the vessels in your harbor. Check what you are letting in and letting out. Proverbs 27:19 says, “As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects man.” If you don’t like what you see, only you can change it. 

1 Comment


Nina Graunke - March 7th, 2024 at 9:50am

Good word, and true. And the title makes me think too how we're made to love and be givers, which we don't do well when don't keep our hearts well - especially if we become bitter due to unforgiveness. This is a good call to look at deep.. and if we want to be who God made us to be, do some cleanup of our harbors. Thanks.